Sophia vs. Jayne

It just so happens this is another boob-related post. I didn't plan that. But recently boobs are EVERYWHERE. Over the past few months I attended a myriad of weddings. Exaggeration....five weddings. But five within a short period of time feels like a myriad. So anyway, while observing the female guests at said weddings, I noticed that there are 2 types of women. Those inclined to blatantly show off their bubbies (my new favorite slang for boobs – thank you Real Housewives of NJ!) and those who prefer to cover them up. And when I say “show them off” I’m not talking about moderate cleavage. I’m talking the bubbies are at full salute, in a big shiny display case. Clearly, this is not a ground-breaking observation. But I think it makes for an interesting topic of conversation.

There are some famous examples comparing these two types of women. Marilyn Monroe & Jackie Kennedy is the most obvious. Ginger & Mary Ann (Gilligan’s Island) isn’t a bad one either. But for this particular discussion I’m going to focus on Sophia Loren & Jayne Mansfield (pictured above). This is one of my all-time favorite photos. Circa 1957, it was taken at Romanoff's a famous Hollywood restaurant and features the two contrasting sex symbols in their prime. Sophia Loren, the sultry rising star of Italy vs. Jayne Mansfield, the Playboy pin-up turned box office beauty. Two very different dames playing poster-girls for two different types of sexy.


Sophia “The Lady” - Apart from her hilarious disgusted glare, she clearly has class. I love her jewelry, her hair & makeup....the whole package is perfection. And I love how she’s still gorgeous at 75! Side note: Sophia Loren actually has quite sizable bubbies, as you can see here:



But she knows how to show them off in a sexy, not tramp-y way.

Jayne “The Tramp” – She really was gorgeous. I love her glam, teased hair! But how can you notice anything else about her ensemble....her cleavage is ludicrous! It’s not really even cleavage, it’s beyond cleavage. It’s a full-on bubbie buffet! I can image how scandalous this was in 1957. If the neckline of the dress was about 3-4 inches higher she would have looked radiant, not ridiculous.

Just in case you were wondering which category I fall in....I’ve been a Sophia my entire adult life. Lots of cleavage always made me feel rather silly. This for a couple reasons: my bubbies are on the small side and I’m not about to strap on some type of “Miracle” bra to play tricks on everyone. And I lack that overtly sexy confidence. It’s just not who I am. I’d rather show off some goods that sparkle & shine as opposed to.....you know, my actual goods.

So do I look down upon girls who show a lot of cleavage? No, I do not.....to an extent. I think there’s the classy way to display the goods (show as seen in Sophia’s pic above) and an inappropriate way....the Jayne way! And I do not recommend the Jayne way. Especially if you’re attending another lady’s big day. If you’re at the bar or in the boudoir, by all means show them off! But leave something to the imagination. Please.